ARE YOU READY TO LOVE AGAIN?

Our love lives can be a series of ups and downs, a romantic roller coaster of anticipated thrills and unexpected drops, some leaving our little hearts squashed all over the pavement below. After any particularly turbulent and emotional ride, as we attempt to quickly distance ourselves from the machinery of so much pain and uncertainty, many can be heard to swear off of romance altogether.

Time heals all wounds
We all need time to recover from any unsuccessful romantic relationship. Acknowledging our feelings, understanding our behavior and accepting the unhappy outcome are all necessary steps for letting go and moving on. The pace at which we move through these steps is unique to each of us.
While one week may be enough time for some people and in some situations, one year may prove too short for others. And there is no one time of absolute readiness, as there is no guarantee that memories of past loves won't occasionally seat themselves behind us. While it is in our nature to persevere, in spite of our fears about the ensuing ride, when reentering the dating world, timing is everything.
Signs you aren't ready:
If you aren't sure you're ready to date again, you aren't alone. It's often harder to pin down an exact point of readiness than it is to observe a lack of readiness.
You probably aren't ready to date again if:
You have maintained any sexual relationship with your ex.
You still live with your ex, even platonically.
You are still wearing a ring, carrying a photo, or defining yourself as part of a couple.
You are stalking, following, harassing or frequently thinking about your ex.
You continue to harbor overwhelming negative feelings about your ex.
You continue to cry or be angry about the circumstances of your last relationship.

What are your motivations?
To assess your romantic readiness, consider your motives for wanting to date again. A love affair is not a panacea for all that ails you. Before you can find, form and maintain a happy and healthy relationship, you must first heal yourself. If you feel poisoned and victimized by circumstances and life choices, you must learn to make changes and live better.
These generally aren't the right reasons to date:
Everyone else at work is married and you want to fit in.
A wife/husband would greatly improve your financial situation.
You're unhappy with your life, feel empty, and want someone to fill you up.
Finally, your emotional stamina may come into question when getting back into the dating game, since even casual dating can come with its ups and downs. Before you venture out among other eligible and interested singles, you may want to prepare yourself for the romantic realities awaiting you.

Seize the day
You're probably ready to date if you feel capable of facing any of the following:
Being rejected when asking for a dance, phone number or date.
Answering questions about your last relationship.
Navigating misunderstandings and disagreements.
Working through the various issues that are bound to come up.
Rejecting someone honestly and kindly.
Identifying, accepting and admitting strong feelings for someone new.
Allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable, and to one day love and be loved.
Whether you decide you're ready to date again or not, go at your own pace. The roller coasters continue to run and there a plenty of us waiting to board. Be patient; someone is saving a seat for you right now.